Lost Job

It has been a while since I have been able to post. We have been very busy and very stressed. We found out almost 2 weeks ago that Matt's office is being closed in Salt Lake. This means that come November Matt will no longer have a job. There will be the option for some employees to transfer to Phoenix AZ but we will not know if that is an option for us until July. We have weighed all the options and have come up empty handed. Matt has been applying for many jobs and has been selected for an interview with the Federal Government. He was selected for an interview with a company here in Tooele but the pay was not enough and the benefits cost way too much. I have an interview on Monday with UPS. I would be working evenings from 7pm - 1am. It would be hard but you've got to do what you've got to do. Raising a family is hard work. We are not counting out the idea of going to AZ. If it is offered to us we will most likely have to go. We would like to stay where we are though because we have made some great friends and we really don't want to try and sell our house with the market the way it is. If anyone know's of any jobs in the Human Resources field or the Shipping Industry let us know. Matt also has experience in the Unemployment Insurance and cutomer service industries.

Spiderman

Today was a fun day! We went to the Tooele Library where we were able to meet Spiderman and even get his autograph. The younger kids and Kirstin thought it was awesome! This is a picture of our day time crew. It is crazy when we go anywhere and I am always counting heads to make sure we haven't lost anyone but it is fun. After our encounter with Spiderman we went to McDonalds playland for ice cream and playtime. It was a good time!

Arghh!

Today was an especially trying day! It started out that way and it just hasn't gotten any better, despite my best efforts. We had an especially hard time with Claire Bear today. I don't know what was going on but she has been trouble since the moment she woke up. She has been going to swimming lessons lately which she has loved! It has been hard for me to take all the kids to the pool everyday but it has been worth it because she loves it so much. Well, I think that they tire her out because for the last week and a half since she started, things have been harder here at home. I had signed her up for the next session but because of her behavior today I had to take that privilege away from her. It was really hard to do because it was something that I knew she really loved and something that is good for her. We will just start her on the next level another time when she can behave a little better and when it's not so hard for me. It has been difficult keeping up with everything without adding swimming on top of that. As soon as I'm feeling a little better we'll start them again. I think I must have done a little too much yesterday when I was feeling good because today was a painful and tiring day. Tonight my muscles under my shoulder just burn! I am ready for a good night sleep. Things have calmed down a little with daycare. Some of the kids that I was watching part-time have moved away for the summer. It has been nice to downsize a bit and it's literally what the doctor ordered. It is nice to be back to the three that I usually watch and we have such a great time together. They are like family now. I am just hoping that we can figure out what is going on with Claire before I go crazy! I don't know what to do. Everyone seems to have their own opinions about what is going on. Some say that she is not getting enough attention, some say she needs more time away from the house and I guess it's easy to judge the situation if you're not in it. We have been getting help from her psychiatrist but we feel like we have hit a road block. They say that she needs some daytime medication but they won't medicate her until she's 5. I guess they think it's not safe. I can understand the hesitation but when everything else has failed, I don't know what they expect us to do. My mom gave us some awesome Cd's on parenting and the method works like a charm for Ivan and still sometimes works on Claire, if we can keep our cool for the 15 minutes it takes for them to work. I just know that she is not happy and we are not happy and that doesn't make for a successful relationship. I finally had Matt give her a blessing tonight after she had peed on the floor for a second time. I am just totally stumped. I am also tired of others judging her for her behavior and judging me. I am learning not to care but it hurts when my child is involved. I guess we will just have to seek a little extra help somewhere else.

Diagnosis

Well, I went to the Internal Medicine Doctor last Friday and he was able to diagnose what I have. I scanned the diagnosis and instruction sheet he gave me but it looks like it is too small to read so I will recap:







Date: 6/6/2008


Diagnosis:


Fibromyalgia (multiple tender and tense muscle groups).


Fatigue


Insomnia (Sleep disturbances)


Depression, Anxiety


Hypothyroidism


Headache, mixed vascular and muscular


? Apnea, Sleep





The last one means that they are testing me for sleep apnea. It would be kind of funny if I have it because Matt does too. He sleeps wearing a C-Pap machine which looks and sounds kind of funny. I told him we could probably count on the kids not getting into bed with us if we were both wearing one! They started me on Darvocet twice a day for the pain and then Amitriptyline for sleep. So far the Amitriptyline has had some weird side effects but I'm going to give it a while before I complain too much. The doctor wants me to see a psychiatrist and a psychologist and start water aerobics. I am currently being treated for depression and anxiety but he want them to make sure my medicines are correct. As for the psychologist, I am not super thrilled about going back to counseling but if it will help with the symptoms then I will. I did not know this but Fybromyalgia ( http://familydoctor.org/online/famdocen/home/common/hormone/623.html)
can be directly linked to psychological stress and lack of sleep. I think it's a dead ringer. I am just glad to know that there is a reason that I have felt the way I do. I thought I was just fat and lazy but it turns out there is more to it than that. The doctor that I am seeing is really cool. He scheduled another visit with me in 2 weeks so he can go over my medical records for the last 7 years. He had never treated someone who has or has had Cushing's disease. (Cushing's disease is the name doctors use when Cushing's syndrome is caused by a tumor in the pituitary gland. The pituitary gland is on the bottom of the brain and controls the body's production of cortisol. These small tumors can cause the adrenal glands, which are near the kidneys, to make too much cortisol. The tumors on the pituitary gland in Cushing's disease aren't usually cancerous. However, if these tumors get too big, they can cause problems with your eyesight. )

http://familydoctor.org/online/famdocen/home/common/hormone/623.html

So I am going to try to access those records and he asked me to bring any pictures I have of myself when I had the disease. He said I was "interesting" and he also said in the medical world it is never good to be "interesting." GREAT!!!! On top of all of this, I am headed to the dentist today to have a crown put on my front tooth and a filling on a back tooth! I tell you, it never ends with me and my body. At least I didn't have to wait years for a diagnosis this time.

I'm Just Sick About It...

Today was a very unfortunate day at our house, to say the least. One of the little boys that I care for got very hurt and I feel terrible. His older sister was making some noodles in the kitchen and he pulled a cup of hot broth down from the counter. His poor arm was scalded and I had to rush him to the emergency room. I was so relieved when his Mom and Dad were very understanding. They have been great about all of it. I stayed with his mom at the hospital for most of the time because I wanted to make sure that he was okay. He has been in my care for almost 6 months now and we have really come to love him. I felt so bad that I could not make it better for him. Even though his Mom and Dad are not mad and are being so understanding, I have just been sick about the whole thing. In 17 years of watching children (including my own), nothing like this has ever happened. Although it was an accident and could have happened to anyone, I think it will take some time before I stop blaming myself. His poor sister felt horrible too. She felt like it was her fault. I reassured her that she was not to blame and that she was a wonderful big sister. We are going to try to gate off the kitchen so that when someone is cooking, the babies can't get in there. Needless to say, it was a very bad ending to what would have been a good day.

Tatoo I'll Never Have...*sigh*

So I found this picture in a gallery of tatoos and I want it tatooed on my back so bad! (Mom and Dad if you are reading this, breathe now.) I would love to have this across my lower back but the pain, money, children and request from the prophet are all stopping me. Just a few hurtles. Isn't it beautiful though???

my goodness...

It has been a long couple of weeks. I have started feeling down and my body hurts all of the time. This is probably no surprise to some people because it seems like I am always sick. I have an appointment with an internal medicine doctor on Friday and I hope that I can get some answers because it's starting to become a really big problem. 2 weeks ago I decided to make Matt some dinner with our rotisserie and instead I put the skewer into my hand. I ended up in the ER where they glued through 4 layers of tissue. It is starting to feel better so I am starting to wonder what will happen next??? LOL. Summer is here and so things have gotten a little bit busier for me with daycare but we love it. We really lucked out with the kids that we have, they are so good and so helpful. I could really use a vacation but it doesn't look like that is in the mix for quite some time. Matt is getting a raise this month which is always nice. We are not sure how much it will be but it is going to be put to very good use. Claire started swimming lessons and I think that is the most exciting news that we have. She absolutely loves them and she is so cute in the water! She should probably be in the next level up but she has already made some friends in her little class and so I don't want to move her. I am so proud of her. She is getting so big. It breaks my heart in a way because I feel her moving further and further from being one of my babies everyday. I wish I could keep her little for a while longer. She is so good at the swimming thing though that we have already signed her up for the next session. It is very affordable and I want her to stick with it if she enjoys it. Ivan is very angry that he can't go in the water but he will not be old enough until August. It doesn't seem to stop him though, he heads straight into the water everyday and I have to pull him out kicking and screaming. I am so proud of my little ones, they are very special.