3D Disappointment

I must say I was very disappointed when I went to my last OB appointment. I was all geared up for my 3D ultrasound, I have never seen one and couldn't wait to see what little Naomi looked like. Just before she started I said "this is the 3D ultrasound right?" and she said "First I measure and then if she cooperates we will switch to
3D." Well, that did it, she jinx us and when we started we could see that little "Nae" had turned herself head down and backwards. We tried and tried to get her to turn but no luck. All we could see was the back of her head and her spine. So she was NOT cooperating! So needless to say we did not get any 3D images, we didn't even get clear images at all. This was our one shot at 3D because we cannot pay to go somewhere else and this one would have been free. Oh well, we will just have to be patient.

I am measuring a week bigger than the baby and have a feeling that my test for gestational diabetes will turn up positive. I just have a feeling. I will be so excited to meet this little one. She brings hope with her for this new year and perhaps new circumstances. Everyday our circumstances seem to improve a little bit and I am determined that this upcoming year will be better than last year. I hope you all have a wonderful new year.

80 Days

There is only 80 days to go until this little child enters the world! She will probably come early because being the impatient person that I am I usually have them induce me a week early. Today I get to see her in 3D! I have never had a 3D ultrasound before and so I am very excited. She has been kicking a ton lately and I am so thankful for that. It's a daily re-assurance that she is okay. I am getting tired of peeing but it's a small price to pay for this miracle. I can't wait to meet our little one and I pray everyday that she will arive safely.

Determined to Make it Better

Well, Christmas has passed with great success due to those we love. We did not have money this year and were very worried about how Santa would deliver but thanks to Grandparents and friends, Santa made it to our house and Christmas went off without a hitch. Matt's Dad, Step-mom and sister were here for Christmas and that made the holiday that much more special. The kids had a wonderful time playing with Grandpa and I must say he wore us all out. Nothing makes you feel older than being out- played and outdone by Grandpa. Matt's family left Sunday morning and life went back to normal, or as normal as it can be around here. We all made it through the holiday in one piece but I must say my house did not. So far the only room that has fully recovered is the living room. The tree is finally put away and the room vacuumed. It's a start. I hope I can get this house in order before this baby comes. I have 2 and a half months and you would think that would be enough but with my ever growing belly and slowing pace it may not happen. Needless to say we are all doing well and I have a renewed sense of hope with this coming year. We are writing off this last year as a disaster and we are moving forward to better things. This year will be better for us no matter what. I do not make New Year's resolutions but I am determined to make it better.

It's Raining, It's Pouring

Well, yesterday Matt discovered he has a hernia on the scar the runs they length of his abdomen. His appendix burst years ago and they thought it was an ulcer so they started cutting just below his breastbone and ended up cutting clear down below his belly button to clean him out. So now he most likely has to have surgery. We are going to try to get him in to have surgery this month but that will most likely NOT happen. They have a new attendance policy at work which means that he will be lucky to have the time off for the surgery and will most likely have NO time off for the baby to be born. My mom suggested that I ask to be induced on a weekend so that Matt can be there and I guess that is what we will have to do. I would rather not be induced because I am having this one naturally, no drugs and the pitocin makes the contractions worse. Matt and I are both sick and I have developed some sort of weird rash on my neck! Man I will tell you when it rains around here it pours! I am surprised that God did not warn us, I think we missed the memo about the ark. We are still very blessed however. Matt's family will be here for Christmas and we couldn't have asked for a better Christmas gift.

Notorious "BUG"

Our 13 year old dog has a spot on her leg that we thought was a calous at first. It has gotten larger and bleeds quite often. She licks it and chews at it and in researching similar things on the internet it appears that she may have cancer. We suspected this a while ago but because she had no external symptoms we hoped for the best. She is very old and has had a very long and happy life. We are trying to decide whether to take her in to the vet and have her put down or whether to try to manage her pain (if there is any, she seems comfortable) and let her die at home. I would prefer to have her home when it happens. I used to laugh at people who were so attached to their pets but now I know what they were talking about, she is part of our family and it's hard to watch her get older and slip away.

Birthday Girl!

Claire Bear turns 6 years old tomorrow! I can hardly believe it. I told her all about the night she was born and she loved it. She is such a light in our lives. She is full of spunk and definately has her own way of doing things but our family would be lost without her. She is the perfect big sister. She helps out so much with her brother and sister. She helps mom with potty training and let's Ivan tag along everywhere she goes. We love you Claire!

All I Want For Christmas

My kids asked me today what I want for Christmas and they were so shocked when I told them that Mommy doesn't need anything for Christmas. The funny thing is, it's really true. Possessions seem so trivial now compared to buying food for my children and making sure they have warm clothes to wear during our "winter" here in Arizona. All I really want is to make sure that this Christmas is magical for our family. I found out today after being bounced around from one salvation army center to the other since October, that the office that services our area is no longer accepting applications for Christmas assistance. At first I was horrified and couldn't believe this was happening because I started this whole process in October but the reality of it is that it is happening and we will just have to find another way to provide our children with a few toys. The good thing is, our children have been raised thus far only receiving 3 gifts and a pair of PJ's at Christmas from mom,dad and Santa. They are not used to having a huge Christmas. A friend of ours gave us that idea when Claire was born. Christ received 3 gifts from the wise men and so that is what our children receive from us/Santa. Somehow even though I am worried about giving them gifts at Christmas, I have been recalling in my mind all of the stories I have heard over the years of families that have had incredible spiritual experiences and miracles at Christmas time and I have faith that we will be one of them. Well, more than faith I have hope but isn't that where faith starts? Fake it till' you make it huh?
All I really want for Christmas is to have my family together and together is what we are. We are safe and dry and warm, we have very little food but we still have food and what more could a mother ask for. The only gift that could be better than all of this is to hear the sound of my husband's laughter again. We have missed it so much this last year and having him back and feeling better would top of the holiday season and be miracle enough for me. I want so much to be able to lift his burden and help him be happy again. Someday his laughter will return, I have to believe that.
It's so funny how our needs change as we go through life. Although this has been the hardest year of our married lives, we have truly been humbled and I now realize the importance of what really counts and what really counts is Eternity with my husband and Children.