Crazy Busy

It has been super crazy at our house lately. There are lots of changes happening and I'm crazy busy most of the time! We started homeschooling Nora and Claire which is quite a chore but it is worth it. It is neat to see the things they are learning first hand and even learn with them! I have been very impressed with the k12 academy and we are planning on he schooling them next year as well. Soon there will be another big change for our family! I am going to start school myself! In March I am starting nail school so that I can help support our lite family. I will homeschool kids during the day and learn how to do awesome nails at night and on Saturdays. I am very excited for this opportunity. We are starting to see the Lord's will at work in our lives. There have been revelations that are unexpected but we see now that it is all for our good. I have found myself working harder than I ever have for the welfare of my family. I am striving to educate them both temporally and spiritually and it is quite a job. I am ensuring that we will have income if heaven forbid Matt can't work. I am starting to feel more confident about our future and although I am exhausted, it is a good feeling.

New Things

It has been a long day! I woke up to chaos in the house as usual but I wouldn't change it for anything. I am not going to lie, it would be nice if it was playing rather fighting but I'll take what I can get! It was a hard morning. I knew I needed to go grocery shopping and I needed to clean so that may have been what I was down about. I just really wanted to go back to bed and hide. I decided it was a better idea to take a hot bath and relax before we left. Matt and I took all of the kids and it was crazy! I was able to get out of my funk and we got a lot accomplished. Life is full right now but it is good. We are making a lot of changes and hopefully for the best. Claire has decided she wants to be home schooled and so I will be teaching her and Nora! I am excited though because it will get Claire back on track. I am registering for nail school this week! I think I will be able to start school next month! I'm nervous but super excited at the same time. I will be gone Tuesday and Thursday evenings and all day on Saturdays. It is a big jump for me especially with all of the anxiety I have been having. The kids are ok with me starting school, especially because they know they have awesome babysitters! Claire is so excited for me to go so that I can do her nails, lol.
With all of these changes we are re-implementing family prayer and family scripture study. It hard sometimes but I am counting on it to make things more peaceful around here. We have made a goal to read the Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants and the Pearl of Great Price this year. I'm excited! I love reading with the kids and helping them to understand what we are reading. I get a lot out of it too! I want our little family back on track and I want more peace in our home.
So there are a lot of new things going on and I know with Heavenly Fathers help we can make it all work!

Old Ghosts

I'm at the University of Utah hospital with a friend who is sick and there are so many memories, so many old ghosts. As we were in triage a call came in that was so similar to Matt's situation and immediately my heart began to race and there was so much anxiety. Sitting here I have watched paramedics come and go and I wonder what it must have been like when they brought him in. He was intubated and totally non-responsive. I wish so badly that I was with him through that, I wish I had been able to ride in the helicopter with him but I look back and realize that it would have made things so much worse for me. The ride to the hospital for me is a blur. I remember walking to my father-in-laws car and seeing them load him into the helicopter. The nurse waved as she walked away from the helicopter. Now, ten Months later it seems so weird that she did that. Like we were friends just parting from a visit. I remember driving under the overpass that leads into Salt Lake. I was on the phone most of the time with family and friends letting them know what had happened. I think the distraction of the phone calls was good. By the time we got here he was in surgery. I was so sad that he had been here longer than I had and by himself but that didn't matter to him, he doesn't remember any if it. I'm sure there are so many posts on this blog that outline that day but there are so many days that play over and over in my head. I pray that one day the wounds won't be so tender and that the scars will not threaten to resurface. Despite the PTSD and the remodel that our family has been going through we have had tremendous blessings. We were reading in First Nephi, chapter 1 and it talked about the tender mercies of The Lord. We talked about it as a family and all I could think was how merciful The Lord had been in keeping Matt here on earth with us. I'm so thankful for the tender mercies of The Lord. We have been continually blessed. So in spite of everything that has happened we hold on to those tender mercies and wait for the day when the old ghosts don't visit quite so often.