For Sale

For Sale, one life completely furnished.
Comes with a body that does not function at full capacity and hurts daily for hours on end. Body has also undergone endless surgeries for everything from a brain tumor to gall bladder and appendix removal. Chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia thrown in at no extra cost.
Body comes with no warranty and comes in as is condition.
Comes with a mind that cannot function without heavy medication and a heart that is burdened and broken with the loss of three children.
Fully furnished with a house that is never clean and children that are never happy. Comes with a husband that is over-worked and under paid.
Comes with the promise of hardship and new challenges daily that seem impossible to conquer.
Bonuses include an overdrawn bank account and insurmountable debt.
Comes with a soul that is weary and longing for home.
If interested contact a medical professional regarding your sanity immediately or turn and run in the opposite direction.

And That Will Cost You...

Today I called my insurance about a bill that I received shortly after my last miscarriage. Usually with any pregnancy I don't have a cost after the initial co-pay so I was surprized when the bill came and figured it was a mistake. While talking to the apologetic insurance customer service figure I was informed that had I had a "normal" pregnancy there would be no co-pay but because I was not able to keep the baby I have to pay a co-pay for all the services provided. I know this is stupid but it made me so mad! So what if I had miscarried 20 weeks in, would I have to pay a co-pay for each visit? I felt more like a failure this morning than I did on the day I miscarried. They said I could appeal the decision but I just don't think I have the energy right now. So congratulations to me, I just got stuck with a bill because I can conceive but can't carry.

Guitar Hero+Friends=Awesome Family Home Evening

Tonight we went to the Ortiz's house for family home evening. They are some of our best friends here. We played Guitar Hero and it was so much fun. I was so proud of myself for playing. I wanted to from the beginning but I was afraid I would really suck and I would look like an idiot. Well, I must say I did better than Matt but I was on the easy level the whole time! I ROCKED! I usually never do that kind of stuff but I did and it was so much fun. Johnny said it best when he said that they get me out of my shell. They are so fun to be around and he was right, I feel totally comfortable around them. It was so great. These pictures were taken on my phone and they suck so I will have to add better ones when I get them. BEST FAMILY NIGHT EVER!

No Mans Land

You see this? This is what is going to happen to me in about 10 seconds.
I am pretty sure that Arizona was not meant to be a settling place for people. The past few days have been seriously HOT. Everyone told me that the first summer here is the worst and I sure hope they are right. It's only June and I feel like I am going to spontaniously combust. The heat makes us all tired and incredibly cranky. Matt and I got in a fight over who was going to say that family prayer tonight...I mean come on people, who does that. I swear they must be giving the kids crack in primary, that is the only explanation for the disaster that was our family tonight. Just kidding. People from my ward are going to read this and hate my guts. I'm going to bed and then we are going to start living our lives at night and sleep all day. I swear that is the only way to survive this.

Summer Days

Yesterday we were able to go to the pool with some of our awesome friends! Matt is such a good sport, he always comes along with us girls. He looks like a man with 3 wives and frankly I don't think he minds!

Trouble With Sleep

I don't know what my problem is lately but I just fight sleeping at night. It is nearly 2 am and I just don't want to close my eyes. Perhaps I just enjoy the stillness of the house while the children are sleeping, perhaps it's the fear of the new day and it's challenges. Perhaps its too much dr. pepper. Don't know but I am so glad we have late church and so thankful I have a husband who treats me like a queen and let's me sleep in on the weekends.

Pretty Good In My Opinion!

Today went pretty well on my opinion. Tonight was a challenge but that is because it was not a standard evening, we had friends over to watch a movie and so there was 8 kids here. It went well until they all started running around. It is so hard to be consistent when friends are here but I was! Ivan would not settle down and after a few too many warnings he had to go to his room and watch the movie from there. He tried everything he could to get out of that room. I finally had to go in and lay with him until he fell asleep, which did not take that long. I feel like a drill Sargent sometimes but it seems to be working and I don't have to yell. I can't believe I have been doing things the hard way for so long. I wish would have been more consistent from the beginning but we all have to learn things and this was just one of those things I had to learn.