There is so much that has been going wrong for so long now that I have become very negative. I asked a friend today if she thought I was a negative person and she said "sometimes." I felt so bad. I never used to be so negative. I have always tried to look on the bright side of things. Right now there really doesn't seem to be a bright side but I know there is. We have been waiting for a miracle since we moved down here but I think we have been getting our miracle all along, it has just come in the form of small miracles, one at a time. For my own good I will list them:
1. It was a miracle that Matt was offered the transfer to Arizona, we could have been without a job.
2. It is a miracle that we got into this house. It was pure faith, prayers, our wonderful realtor and adrenaline that got us into this beautiful home where my children can sleep safely every night.
3. It is a miracle that I moved into a house 2 doors up from one of the most wonderful friends I will have. She has been a blessing, even before we moved in I met her and was comforted that she was here.
4. It is a miracle that I met a friend who works with Matt that is willing to put up with all of my quirks and love me for them.
5. It is a miracle that we are able to find a plethera of doctors here to help with Ivan and Claire. We were so limited in Utah and never would have received the help we are now without moving here.
6. It is a miracle that a wonderful friend was willing to give me little Gidget(my Yorkie Pup) after the loss of two babies this year.
7. It is a miracle that I was able to get pregnant two months in a row, even if those spirits had to return to Heavenly Father immediately.
8. It is a miracle that I have a husband that is willing to work so hard to make our family safe and happy.
9. It is a miracle that we are able to attend the temple which is no longer as far from our house and that our prayers have been answered within it's walls.
10. It is a miracle that after 5 years of trying to find legal help for a friend over seas, I find it right here in AZ.
11. It is a miracle that I have found doctors here that are familiar with my medical history and can help manage my pain.
12. It is a miracle that I have a select group of friends that still love me from afar and call or email to make sure I am alright.
13. It is a miracle that just when money was so tight I got a babysitting job.
The list could go on and on. There are new reasons everyday that prove to me that we are supposed to be here. I am going to try to focus on those when times get hard and believe me, they have been as hard as they have ever been for me. I realize now that I have always been comfortable in life. Now that things are not so comfortable I am leaning to the Lord for understanding and have grown closer to him. I cannot say what the Lord has in store for us. I do know we were sent here to see if we would be obedient and I am so grateful that we came. I do know that no matter how hard things may be with my children that God sent them to us for a reason. No one else could love them like Matt and I can and there is no way in my lifetime that anyone else will have to. I have so many friends that have become my family and I will forever be in your debt. Each one of you has created memories for me that make me laugh and cry and miss you all the more. It seems now as if those kinds of friendships could only be impossible here but I know that the Lord has already blessed me with a few of them and that with time, I will come to love the people of Arizona as much as I loved the people of Utah. I am grateful for a testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ which daily reminds me that although things seem hopeless, God is holding my hand through every moment of my journey here on earth. I am so thankful for the atonement and the ability it gives me to fight day in and day out to do what is right and be forgiven when I fall short. I am so thankful for the beautiful family that God has sent to me, including a wonderful husband for whom there are not enough words to express my love. I will be sure to count my blessings before I let myself fall apart anymore.
3 comments:
Its a blessing from God, Aubs, that you can even see these things. Continue to walk closely with Him, for He is the answer. Now if I could just take my own advice life would be grand!
By the way, what a generous offer and I would simply adore a blanket made with love :)
I loved this post! It's amazing when you start to look for the good there's soooo much to be found! I need to be better at remembering that. I love ya!!
Its hard to see the blessing when they aren't what we had hoped or want them to be; but God knows what is best for us. Keep up the positvie attitude that I know you to have.
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