Lonely

Today has started out hard. I hate it when that happens. I did some cleaning but my kids are so cooped up that we have to go somewhere. We are going to go to the splash pad by our house even though they want to go to the pool. I can't handle all of them at the pool. Claire woke up with an attitude and I am at a loss as to what to do with her. It is so hard to deal with. I have gone to several different doctors, got a diagnosis and followed their instructions to the last detail. People don't understand either. It's so hard having a child with a behavioral problem because people are not sympathetic. Instead of trying to help you, they keep their children away. Instead of offering relief, they offer advice when they really have no idea what is going on. If I had a child with a physical disability that acted the same way they would never dare to think the things they do. People can be such hypocrites. They say it takes a village to raise a child but my village is now empty. In Utah we had family that tried to understand and helped. Here we are alone. And so it is alone that we go to the splash pad, wishing for friends that were like family. We miss Utah so much and want to go home. It feels like we are stuck in the center of a bad storm, waiting for the clouds to break and all we see is more clouds on the horizon. We are tired, we are sad and we just can't keep going this way.