New Attitude

Tomorrow I see the perinatologist AGAIN. My regular OB told me that she wanted to schedule the C-Section so I have to ask him if we are going to do the amnio or the in-utero blood transfusion. If so they need to do it soon so that we can get this little one here. I have a feeling she is going to try to come early on her own. 2 nights in a row we have thought that maybe I have been in labor but after a couple of hours it stops. I refuse to go to the hospital until I know it's the real thing because the one that we have to go to is an hour away. We can't go to one closer to our house because none of them have a NICU. I am getting very anxious to have her out of me. I just don't feel well and she doesn't either so let's get us both feeling better! After good advice from a mother in our ward, I have decided to stop trying to keep up with this house. Today, instead of worrying about making sure everything is clean and picked up and yelling at the kids in the process, I have napped and watched movies with them and napped some more and have been reading. I have not had to yell at them at all! I love it! I realized too what an adverse effect my frustration and out of control mood swings have been on my little kids when Ivan said "shit" and then had to come ask me if it was a bad word. Man I have to do better. I have been out of control for about 2 weeks now and that can't be good for anyone, especially the baby. So it is CHILL time for me. I will keep up on laundry and dishes and feed the kids and just relax, the house will not fall down around us in the meantime and when help comes I will have plenty for them to do.