Moments

Today is finally Friday. This days should have been here about 2 days ago. The kids were not feeling well this morning and so both Claire and Ivan stayed home from school. I am happy to report that there has been a miraculous "healing" at our house and this afternoon they are perfectly fine. So I guess this is our day off and I will shortly be receiving a letter from the school outlining my duties as a parent to make sure my kids attend school. I love those letters. Matt went to the doctor this week. I did not go with him this time. I figured it was time for me to stop being so protective and just let him go alone. Uh...yeah I should have gone. I'm not sure why I thought sending my husband with memory problems to the doctor alone would be productive. I plead complete insanity at this point. Of course there was not much news because he saw the internal medicine doctor again. The doctor did say that the pain and numbness in his arms and legs could be gout. I'm no doctor but I'm thinking if you have no idea what's wrong don't make up some lame ass answer like gout. If it turns out that it is gout I will eat my words but in the meantime my confidence in this doctor is failing. I called the neuro-surgeon AGAIN to find out when his MRI's had been scheduled or rather when and why they hadn't been scheduled. I left a message so we should hear from them a week from never. Can you tell this whole situation is a little frustrating for us? The best way to sum up my feelings for
Dr. B's nurse are found in a quote from one of my favorite shows, "you used to be just sort of unlikeable, but now I feel like punching you everytime you open your mouth!"
So for now we will continue our fight against Doctors Office Idiocy just as we have done for the last 6 months. We are becoming prize fighters!
The week has not been all bad, on Wednesday night I found myself bathing ALL of the children at once and reading stories to them while they were in the bath. Matt had come early because of his Dr.'s appointment and he wandered in the bathroom. There we were, all together, all enjoying ourselves with no thought of illness or finances or obligations. It was just us, our family, doing something that other families do and the normalcy of that moment felt awesome. I even offered up a prayer of thanksgiving for that one little moment. Life is full of crazy for us. It seems to bd a never ending train of crazy but once and a while we make a stop at normal if only for a moment and it is those moments that keep us on track.

For the Kids

Another week has passed in our new house and I am liking it more and more. For the second week in a row the kids and I have been able to clean the whole house in just a couple of hours on Saturday afternoon and what a blessing that has been. We are attending our second week in our new ward and although it is quite a change of pace compared to our last ward, everyone has been very friendly. It is hard to see the confused stares of people as they pass by the couch where Matt and I can usually be found. I'm sure they are wondering why he is passed out on the cushions as I keep vigil nearby. I liked that we didn't have to explain why in our last ward. I found comfort in their knowledge of our situation. I suppose we need not explain ourselves here, however I hate the staring. I suppose I will just have to get over it. I do find it hard lately to stay beyond sacrament. I find myself thinking there is not much reason if we are just going to be on the couch but I know that we will be blessed simply for coming so that our children can attend primary. The time will come again for Matt and I to attend class when he is well, in the meantime we will continue our time on the couch for the kids.

A Wonderful Feeling

What a week. As cliche' as it might sound, I am so thankful that tomorrow is Friday. I used to dread the weekend because the house would be trashed by Monday. No matter how hard I tried I could not get the house clean on Saturdays or keep it clean until the following Monday. This is no longer true! As much as it sucked to have to move, I am so grateful for this house! It is so small compared to our last house and I LOVE IT! I am so grateful that we are able to live in a smaller place with so much less stuff. I love that we threw so much away so that we are no longer storing mass amounts of junk that we will never use again! This house is a huge blessing for our family. Tonight I was able to come home from a day away and clean up the toys and sweep and vacuum while making dinner. It was so great to turn on music and have the house clean in half an hour! The kids are actually pitching in because it is not so overwhelming for all of us. They are able to spend time with their dad because he can be in the room where they are and still follow doctors orders. They sleep in their own beds because they are close to us. We no longer fight the "I'm scared to go upstairs by myself" battle! I love it. I feel very blessed. As hard as it was to move away from the awesome friends we had right across the street, this move has been wonderful and as a plus, it's only 5 miles from our friends. Tonight our challenges seem a little less challenging. Tonight my burden seem a little lighter. Tonight I feel less lonely and it is a wonderful feeling.

Update

We attended our new ward today. Everyone was very nice. It's a much different dynamic than our other ward. We are no longer some of the oldest people there! It was nice to go. I haven't been to church in nearly a month due to illness and although it was hard to find the motivation to go, I did it and I'm glad I did. We are really liking our new house. The smaller one story is perfect for us. I wish we could have stayed in the same neighborhood but we are not far. I will admit I have been homesick this last week but going to church today helped with that. We have been planning a trip to Utah for this summer and I must say it has me anxious to see a lot of people. I'm ready for a vacation! Matt had a good weekend. He was able to get a long nap yesterday while the kids and I cleaned the house so he had energy for the second half of the day. We went to a birthday party for one of my good friends and we had a great time. I was able to catch up on some sleep this weekend and I am so thankful. Eventually I would love to kick this exhaustion! My parents are leaving for the MTC tomorrow. I am sad that we couldn't see them before they go but we will still get to talk to them on the phone often while they are gone. Things have been more restful this weekend and I am so thankful. I love that I can spend more fun time with my kids now that I am not trying to maintain a large house. I am hoping this week will bring more beautiful weather and more restful days.

Let's Get Crazy

There is something in the air today that feels like spring. I cannot tell if it is the smell or the sounds or just the change in light but it makes me want to leave all of this behind and go somewhere. Just to be able to go, to leave and see where the road takes us would be such a delight. Just to disregard the rules that we live by, you know, the ones that say we have to go to work or school, or that we have to only eat cereal for breakfast and not for dinner. Some unpredictability would be nice on a day like today. I started the morning feeling warn down and tired. Ivan was not feeling well and the thought of spending the day at home seemed nice. I shifted gears as the need to leave the house for a few essentials became obvious and it was nice to visit with those that I was with. I have had a wide range of emotions today. A very good friend of mine, one of my best friends is facing the death of a family member and my heart has ached for her all day. My parents are leaving on Monday for a mission and although I am excited for them to be heading to Nauvoo to preach the gospel, a part of me is very sad that I will not be there to see them off. Naomi will be 2 years old when they return and the thought of that makes me sad. I supposed it's because I haven't seen them for quite some time. These are the reasons for the mixed emotions today. I have treated myself to a day in my scrubs which has been wonderful. I am anxious for the weekend to start. I am ready to spend a few days with Matt. He is so tired and I can't wait to just hang out and watch movies and be together. The water pills that we have been relying on to take away the swelling in Matt's arms and ankles have stopped working. The surgeon has said that she wants an MRI of his pituitary gland with and without contrast, a standard MRI of his brain and an MRI of his cerebral cervical spine. Two weeks ago they said they would schedule it and let us know when they were...we have yet to hear from them. In the meantime he has been told by the doctor not to drink anything so that he does not retain anymore water. Their answer is for him to chew ice all day. I wonder, are they willing to pay the dentist bill for that? lol. I am disappointed in their lack of action. A friend of mine suggested that we go sit in her office waiting room and let the other patients see him so they know what kind of care they will receive if they choose this particular office and I laughed! Wouldn't that be wonderful just to camp in the office until they could no longer refuse to find the answer to his latest symptoms! I think she is on to something. I am looking at the prospect of finding a part time job. In all honesty it is the last thing I want to do. My hands are completely full and my sanity is completely unsteady but I wonder if it wouldn't take some of the pressure off of Matt if he wasn't trying to support us single handedly while being as sick as he has been. I am very anxious about leaving my children with someone and Matt does not have the energy to take care of them in my absence and so I will make sure that this is the right course of action before I rush into anything. As for today, does disregarding the rules and being a little crazy sound great to anyone else???

Has It Only Been One Week?

A week ago today we were moving in to our new house. I can't believe it has only been one week. I think the more tired you are, the slower time goes. lol. It has been a crazy week ending in the flu for me which is most disappointing because I had a flu shot. I was so blessed to have one of my dearest friends take my kids on Friday from 7am-7pm and I slept all but 3 of those hours! Today I have refused to be sick and let me tell you how well that is working out for me...
Things are good. We are so thankful to be past this moving business and I was feeling like such a slacker because we were not unpacked and then I realized that it has only been a week and so the progress I have made seems phenomenal! Many good things have happened this week despite the exhaustion and the flu.
Ivan had his second flag football game today and he made a Touch Down! I love watching him play, it's so fun! He is getting so big!
Matt's wonderful Aunt Judy called me this week just to chat and she is such an awesome person! It was nice to chat with her. She sent us some books that I can't wait to read. I have got most of our things unpacked. I still have the garage to tackle but it is mostly a matter of organizing because there are very few boxes and tons of bikes and strollers! The laundry is mostly done despite the two days I spent in bed! We were able to take the kids to a birthday party at Chuck-E-Cheese today and they had a most awesome time! Matt and I had a most awesome time not paying! I had a chance to help my mom set up her own blog this week. It was cool to have something in common with her. It was neat to share my love of blogging with her. She and my Dad are leaving for a mission to Nauvoo in a week and she wants to be able to share their experiences with us. Their blog address is www.jannandbrentbradford.blogspot.com check it out! The list is longer but I pinched a nerve in my arm when we moved and my two middle fingers are numb so for now this is all. It has been a very long week but most of it was good.