Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Last Saturday was a very sad time for our little family. Our dog BUG passed away. She was 13 years old and although Matt and I knew that she would not be with us much longer, it was still a shock when she began wheezing and we had to take her to the vet ER and there decide to let her go. I never really thought it would be that hard to say goodbye to an animal but BUG was not just a dog, she was literally a part of our family. She started her journey in this family as my dad's dog. I was only 18 when she came to them and now at 30, I realize that almost half of my life's memories involve BUG. When I was 19 and diagnosed with a brain tumor I became very ill. I spent endless hours in bed with BUG as my companion. She would sleep with me every night, under the covers. When Matt and I bought our first house, BUG became our dog. We searched and searched for the perfect house and made sure it had a fence so that we could take her in. She was there during my pregnancy and literally followed me around whining the last few days before Claire came. She knew before I did that it was time to bring Claire into this world. When I brought Claire home from the hospital BUG was there wanting to give her a bath. She held on until all of our children were here and she has been protective of every one of them. She also did something I thought no one could do, she turned my husband into an animal lover. He and I were both able to be there when she passed away. Tonight I returned to retrieve her remains so that we can always have her with us. What a wonderful creature was BUG.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Where to begin explaining this day...I woke to a phone call this morning from my husband who leaves very early to ride his motorcycle to work. When my friend who is staying with us told me it was Matt on the phone I was surprised because he was supposed to be on the road at that time. I figured that he had run out of gas AGAIN but boy was I wrong. The first thing that he said to me was "Aubrey...we need to buy a car." He was making no sense whatsoever until he said "I've been hit." Immediately images of Matt flying off of his motorcycle and hitting the pavement filled my mind. I asked him if he was okay and that is when he told me they were taking him to the hospital. I ran down the stairs (in my garments) screaming for Tina. All I could say was "he's been hit, I have to go." The hard part was I didn't know where I was going. I knew he was on the US 60 freeway but that was it. I took Tina's phone and left the house. While driving toward the accident scene I got a call from the ambulance workers telling me where they were taking him. They were headed to Scottsdale Osborne Health Center here in Arizona. I had never heard of it and I had no idea how to get there. The gentleman on the phone gave me directions but I could not remember a word he had said. Minutes later I received a phone call from the hospital saying that they had arrived and that Matt was going to be taken straight to have a CT scan. The social worker was so great to stay on the phone with me and help me find my way to the hospital. She just kept saying "go slow, he'll be fine." When I arrived at the hospital I had to wait about a half and hour before I could see him. They came and got me when he was out of CT and I was not prepared for what I was going to see. I don't know what I thought I would see but I know now that you can never prepare yourself to see the person you love most in the whole world hurt, no matter how small or how big the injuries are. Matt was flat on a bed with wires connected to what seemed like every inch of his chest. His clothes had been cut off and so I could see his bare chest and the left side of his body was bruised. What struck me the most was the neck brace and his bloodied hands that he was holding in the air. He couldn't even turn to look at me but for that I am grateful, I didn't want him to see how scared I was. I ran to him and leaned over the bed and he said "I'm sorry." I couldn't believe he was apologizing. I wanted to hug him, to hold him but I was afraid to touch him. It turned out that he didn't remember much of our conversation on the phone. He was not hit but rather a very careless and heartless driver (who fled the scene) had cut him off and when Matt put on the breaks to prevent the bike from the collision, the bike when down and Matt when sliding. He was going 70 miles an hour when he hit the pavement and he says that he remembers thinking "this doesn't hurt as much as I thought it would." Months ago when he bought this new bike he bought new riding gear and it literally saved his life. His whole left side took the brunt of the accident but he came out of it with a broken pinkie finger, some bruised ribs and an injured shoulder. There is significant road rash on his left side but nothing like it would have been without that new gear. His riding jacket was torn to shreds on the arms as well as his pants yet he is okay. He was teary off and on in the ER but all together he was one tough guy. It was nothing short of a miracle that my husband survived that accident today. I believe that God knew he still has work to do here, especially since we are taking care of 4 extra children right now. I was okay until after we had brought him home, picked up prescriptions and called the insurance. After the "to do" list was tackled I could feel myself falling apart. I started shaking and feeling very faint. I think the shock had finally hit me. I realized that I was having an anxiety attack and I could feel a migraine setting in. It is the most awful feeling to have your world rocked like mine was today. I realized that my world would literally crumble if something happened to Matt. Tonight I feel blessed and overwhelmed with love for my Heavenly Father for protecting my husband and love for my husband for being as strong as he is. I have been blessed with a most awesome husband and without him my heart would be broken. I was so fortunate today to be dealing with insurance companies and pharmacy's rather than a funeral home. Tonight as we go to bed I am so grateful that he is here sleeping next to me rather than lying in a hospital bed. It will be a hard recovery for him but we both feel very blessed. We learned a very important lesson today. The statistics for motorcycle accidents mean nothing when someone you love is involved. This family is done with motorcycles. We are blessed as well to have Paul Garff as our father. He is selling us his car so that Matt will have a safe way to get back and forth from work. I hardly feel like I deserve the blessings that the Lord poured out upon us today but I will accept them with a very grateful heart.