Now before anyone freaks out and thinks I've lost faith or don't believe in God I have to say this. I love my Heavenly Father. I know that he has a plan for me and that he loves me too. I do believe however that part of the plan of salvation included our ability to mourn and question what we know to be true. There are days where I feel like I am being punished for something. That God is sending hard things my way because he is unhappy with me but those are the days that the fibromyalgia, Addison's disease, work, house, kids, everything piles up and crashes down on me. Those are my pity days. They don't happen too often but when they do I cry and I struggle and I feel DONE. Then I have days where I know that I CAN DO HARD THINGS. There are days when I finish work at 10pm and am dead tired but I feel like I accomplished so much in taking care of my family.
I know that my Heavenly Father hears and answers my prayers. I know that he loves me and that I am his daughter. Satan also knows this and works on me everyday. It is hard. These are the days that I need to be reminded that I CAN DO HARD THINGS. These are the days that instead of taking up drinking or giving up I tell myself over and over these 5 words. I CAN DO HARD THINGS. So even though there are days where nothing seems fair or just and I feel like I am being handed way too much I know that I can handle anything that God needs me to with his help. I know that he loves me. I know....I just have to remind myself sometimes that he made me tough as nails.