Wednesday, April 28, 2010
What a day, what a trip. For over a month now I have been feeling very inadequate as a mother. It all stemmed from a letter I received from my mother. However, I decided today as I was driving my kids all over East Valley Arizona looking to buy lady bugs for them that I am indeed a good mother. Both Ivan and Claire have been talking about insects at school and Ivan missed the day that his teacher gave out lady bugs. He caught one the other day and told me "I pulled her wings off so she can't fly away." All I could do was laugh but alas his lady bug crawled her way to freedom. So that is how and why our adventure started today. We live about 5 miles from a nursery and so we popped over there after lunch to buy some lady bugs. They were cleaned out! So they said to try Home Depot who said to try Lowe's etc. etc. you get the picture right? So 64.7 miles later and back at home I have discovered that I am indeed a good mother. I do not know many other people who would drive that far and look that hard to buy lady bugs for their children just for fun. I may not meet the standards set by many others but I try my hardest and give my all to my children. Our family has been through some extremely hard times lately. There may have been some shouting, there may have been tears, there may have even been some spankings but that does not make me a bad mother, that makes me human and being human does not mean that I don't give my parenting everything I have. It was a good lesson learned and now we all need a nap and I would be fine if I never saw another lady bug in my life.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Monday, April 5, 2010
Well, Ivan had a TB test last Friday and it turned up positive and so today we were back at the doctors office. They did another test on his other arm and we go back on Wednesday. From there he said that we will probably have to have some X-Ray's done and then see a specialist to make sure that the abcess that he had on his neck was not related to TB. The poor little guy has been through a lot in the last couple of weeks and I have a feeling it's only the beginning. Thank goodness we have an awesome pediatrician.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
I am so exhausted. We started the day off very early, picking up our van from the shop and returning the rental car that we had. On the way home from dropping off the rental a tire on the van blew. Not only did it blow, it shredded! I am very thankful that we did not roll the van. Matt and I just laughed. We laughed about it all for a good half an hour because we don't know anyone that has crappier luck than we do! I spent the rest of the afternoon preparing for an Easter Egg hunt with our neighbors which the kids really enjoyed but my friend and I were exhausted by the time it was over. I came home this evening and as we were preparing to give Ivan a bath and change his dressings I noticed that his TB skin test is round and red and slightly raised...I called the doctor and it's back to the office on Monday for another appointment. I can't believe how exhausted I am. I have always been tired when I have a new baby but I can honestly say that this has been too much. I know that the Lord does not give us more than we can handle but I must say that his faith in me is a little grandiose at this point because I'm not sure I can handle this. My whole body hurts tonight. I feel like I have been hit by a truck! This day is FIRED!
Well, we are day 3 at home and things are going pretty well with Ivan. He is such a trooper, he never complains about his neck. The only time I can tell he needs pain meds is when he gets really whinny. I have to clean it twice a day and the first time I literally almost threw up but I am a pro at it now. This last time we even got the tape off without ripping out neck hair. I am so proud of my little man.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Well, we are finally home from the hospital and hoping that things can begin to resemble normal soon. I would say go back to normal but normal for us hasn't been that great for the past two years and so I want someone else's normal. Ivan is such a trooper. He has been good to let me change the dressings on his neck even though the wound is not stitched shut and hurts him very badly. They left it open so that it could drain if needed and so he has about an inch long gash in the side of his neck that goes clear down into the muscle. He rarely asks for pain medication which tells me that he is a much stronger person than me. Today they did a TB test on him at the doctors office because they said sometimes that can cause this kind of an abscess. He has been so tough but he has had it. I don't blame him. It is so hard to watch your child go through something painful, it makes me think of Heavenly Father and all he must have suffered when he watched as his son was tortured and crucified. I am so thankful for these little angels that the Lord has seen fit to bless us with. Sure it is hard to raise four children but it is the best thing in the world. I love my husband and children so much and am so grateful for them. I know that we have had a rough time lately but it only brings us closer.