Today was an especially trying day! It started out that way and it just hasn't gotten any better, despite my best efforts. We had an especially hard time with Claire Bear today. I don't know what was going on but she has been trouble since the moment she woke up. She has been going to swimming lessons lately which she has loved! It has been hard for me to take all the kids to the pool everyday but it has been worth it because she loves it so much. Well, I think that they tire her out because for the last week and a half since she started, things have been harder here at home. I had signed her up for the next session but because of her behavior today I had to take that privilege away from her. It was really hard to do because it was something that I knew she really loved and something that is good for her. We will just start her on the next level another time when she can behave a little better and when it's not so hard for me. It has been difficult keeping up with everything without adding swimming on top of that. As soon as I'm feeling a little better we'll start them again. I think I must have done a little too much yesterday when I was feeling good because today was a painful and tiring day. Tonight my muscles under my shoulder just burn! I am ready for a good night sleep. Things have calmed down a little with daycare. Some of the kids that I was watching part-time have moved away for the summer. It has been nice to downsize a bit and it's literally what the doctor ordered. It is nice to be back to the three that I usually watch and we have such a great time together. They are like family now. I am just hoping that we can figure out what is going on with Claire before I go crazy! I don't know what to do. Everyone seems to have their own opinions about what is going on. Some say that she is not getting enough attention, some say she needs more time away from the house and I guess it's easy to judge the situation if you're not in it. We have been getting help from her psychiatrist but we feel like we have hit a road block. They say that she needs some daytime medication but they won't medicate her until she's 5. I guess they think it's not safe. I can understand the hesitation but when everything else has failed, I don't know what they expect us to do. My mom gave us some awesome Cd's on parenting and the method works like a charm for Ivan and still sometimes works on Claire, if we can keep our cool for the 15 minutes it takes for them to work. I just know that she is not happy and we are not happy and that doesn't make for a successful relationship. I finally had Matt give her a blessing tonight after she had peed on the floor for a second time. I am just totally stumped. I am also tired of others judging her for her behavior and judging me. I am learning not to care but it hurts when my child is involved. I guess we will just have to seek a little extra help somewhere else.