Today was a good day. It was nothing out of the ordinary, kids to school, kids home from school, naps and dinner. The biggest difference is that I am not completely sick to my stomach, just a little bit and my spirits are high. It has been at least two weeks since our world stopped being so black. It has been at least 2 weeks since we have had a major trial and although by saying that out loud I am calling down the wrath of the powers that be, I am going to say it out loud because I need to. For so long our world has been sad and lonely and HARD. I have needed a break for so long and the Lord has finally given me that break. I know that there will be trials and probably very soon but I feel like now that we have had a little breathing room I can handle it.
We have been able to be outside in the evenings a little and that has made all the difference. We needed to see that there is a world outside of our little house and that there is open air out there that is not filled with stress and anger and sadness. I feel more at home now than ever. I have had a hard time letting go of Utah and I think the majority of the problem is that I feel like I am betraying some of my best friends if I do. I feel like if I give in and make this home without expectation of going back then I am a traitor of some sort. I miss my friends so much and wish with all of my heart that life didn't have some of the changes it does. I wish that we could all grow and age together, right down the street from one another but for some reason God has set a distance between us but that does not mean there is distance in our friendships.
I have met some incredible people here and I am getting to know more people everyday and I am starting to feel at home. I have an incredible ward and I realized through someone else's tragedy that we are surrounded by people who care and who would help us even if we didn't know their names. I am very thankful that the Lord saw fit to put us where he did, amongst incredible people with incredible faith and devotion to one another.
1 comment:
I don't think your true friends would ever think you would betray them by letting go of Utah and embracing Arizona. It's so hard to move to a different state and have to say goodbye. I struggled for so many years after I moved to Utah. Now I love it! It's ok to let go. I treasure the memories that I have in CA. I always will. I am so happy that there are such amazing people out there. I love you girl! Hang in there. Make tons of new friends. Your true friends out here in Utah want you to be happy! And there's nothing like a good friend to help with that! So go get em!
p.s. This is NOT Steve writing this! I tried to log out and log in as me but it will erase everything I've written!!
Love ya!! TAMI
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