When Counting your Blessings Just Isn't Enough

I have found that there are a million and one people who are willing and ready to tell you to be thankful for what you have without even listening to why you aren't counting your blessings. I will say that counting your blessings does help but it doesn't erase the emptiness or heartache that comes once and while for no reason whatsoever. How easy it seems just to give up all that is around you and go back to the way things were. Why is it that we don't know what we had until it's gone? How stupid we can be. I guess my internal beat is just off lately.

I Just Don't Want To!

So today I have to meet with a lawyer for some stuff that Matt and I are working on, and I just don't want to! (No we are not getting divorced, that's the first thing people ask when I say that). I am so anxious about this stupid appointment. I wish I could just go now and get the whole thing over with. I wish Matt could take off some time to go with me. The stupid thing is, I am only anxious because I am going alone and I have never been to a lawyer before. Everyone says how much they suck and I am just not up to meeting with sucky people right now! I also have started having horrible nightmares, yet another fun part of being pregnant and so I am not sleeping well. I will just be very glad when this morning is over with!

Rant

Well, I am officially just worn out. My body is on strike. We have spent a lot of the time today at the park so that my kids will entertain themselves. I am so glad that it is Friday and Matt will be home for the weekend. I am also so glad that my neighbor brought us pizza for no reason at all, it was much needed! Can I just say that I love my kids but I really need a break. I NEED A BREAK! Here's hoping for a good weekend.

Homesickness

One's home is like a delicious piece of pie you order in a restaurant on a country road one cozy evening - the best piece of pie you have ever eaten in your life - and can never find again. After you leave home, you may find yourself feeling homesick, even if you have a new home that has nicer wallpaper and a more efficient dishwasher than the home in which you grew up. ~Lemony Snicket

It's a...

Free Baby Shower Games

Today was the big ultrasound! Matt was not able to go but I was able to take one of my best friend Ameliea with me. I must say I am so excited to be having another girl! Poor Ivan was mad and Matt is a little disappointed but I can't handle another boy, they are way too hard! They are going to repeat the ultrasound in 4 weeks so that they can get a better picture of the heart, they weren't able to see all 4 chambers because she was moving so much. It probably had something to do with the 40 oz of vitamin water and candy bar I had before the ultrasound. I wanted to make sure that girl opened her legs!

Homesick but Excited...

I am very homesick today. What I wouldn't give for an extended trip back to Utah to see my friends. I am having a hard time feeling like I fit in here. I think the hardest part about today is that I know I am going to my 20 week ultrasound tomorrow. This is the big one and it's the first one that Matt is not going to be able to attend. One of my most awesome friends Amelia is going with me which will make it so much better. I just miss being back in Utah where I had a zillion friends to share this with. I am very thankful for the 2 very close friends I have here. I hope I Can sleep tonight, it's like Christmas. I will be so happy to see my little Naomi/Owen tomorrow.

A Goal

They say a goal not written down is a goal that is sure to fail so I am telling all of you about the goal I have starting today to have scripture study every night. Matt is going to read them with me although he already does his personal scripture study and we read with the kids. I am just horrible at my own personal scripture study and I know if left to do it on my own it won't get done. So thank goodness he is willing to help me out. We have been praying for so many miracles and blessings lately and I realized that I am not doing everything that I can to be worthy of those blessings. I do not say my personal prayers at night or read my scriptures and I think because of that I have been missing out on a lot of comfort and blessings. So tonight we started and I will post my progress so that I am accountable to myself, the Lord and anyone else who might read this little blog of mine.