Today was Sunday. It was Fast Sunday and Matt and I along with many others that we love were fasting that our house would sell soon so that we can all go together as a family to Arizona. As we went to church today, I really wanted to be in the right mind for this fast. I arrived at nursery as usual knowing that the friend that I serve with would not be there. I had help and thank goodness I did because we had
13 children there today and they were all wound up.
When it was time for sacrament meeting I was convinced that we would have to leave early like usual because Ivan was being his normal evil Sunday self. As the meeting started the kids began to settle in and so did the spirit. It was fast and testimony meeting and after the opening hymn it was obvious to me that I needed to bare my testimony. That is something that is very hard for me. I stood to bare my testimony of the power of fasting and praying. I testified that the Lord has listened to our prayers and although Matt would have to leave us early, the Lord would continue to lead us in this new adventure in our lives. After sitting down, I cried for the rest of the meeting. I was crying partly because the spirit was very strong but mostly because I am very sad that Matt will be leaving and we can't go with him. Well, we actually made it to the end of the meeting with Matt out in the foyer restraining Ivan and Nora asleep in my arms. The closing hym started and I knew that the Lord was sending me some comfort. As the song started, I could not even sing because I was crying too hard. The hymn was "How Firm A Foundation." The words of the last verse let me know that the Lord would not leave me comfortless as my husband left us here.
"Fear not I am with thee; oh, be not dismayed,
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid.
I'll strengthen thee, help thee and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by my righteous, upheld by my righteous,
Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand."
Although I am still nervous for my husband to leave I know now that fear is a feeling that is not sent from God. It may be natural but I do not have to fear. The Lord will strengthen me and my children while my husband is away. This is an opportunity that I have to find out just how strong I can be. It is something that I will do for my husband, my children and myself.
After feeling all of this, there is hope from several sources and perhaps even a miracle. Tonight as we were coming home from Matt's dad's house at 8:30pm our realtor called. She asked where we were and if we were home. I told her we were just walking in the door. Her exact words were "get out. Don't do a thing but someone wants to come through the house." Of course the house was a mess as it always is on Sunday but she insisted that it would be okay because this particular buyer was only interested in the structure of the house. I insisted on having 10 minutes to tidy up and then ran through the house like a mad woman screaming at Matt to get the kids back in the car. She would not tell me who was coming through but she said that it was important that we let them come tonight. She said she would call us when they were through. She was the one bringing them through the house. An hour later we got a call. She said that it is a big possibility. She told me who it was but swore me to secracy. It will take the people a day or so to decide and she said try not to get our hopes up but that it may be happening. If this goes through, it would truly be a miracle. To me it was a small miracle that they wanted to go through today as we had been fasting and praying so hard about this very thing. As I talked with Sandra (our realtor) she told me that she had no doubt that our house would sell because she said I have so much faith. I thought that was funny because I have never thought of myself as a person of great faith. I am just doing my best to follow the spirit on this one. All I know is that today was a learning experience for me. I was reminded that the Lord hears and answers our prayers. I have an appreciation for fasting that I never had before. And even if we don't get an offer from this particular buyer, it was a miracle to me.