Sunday, September 14, 2008

Not Ready To Say Goodbye

It's so funny how you just can't wait to get out of a place and then when it comes right down to it, it is hard as h****. Tonight we had a Barbecue for Matt and his brothers and a few friends so that they could say their goodbyes. Matt has always been very close to his brothers.

It was so hard on me to be there. In all honesty I didn't want to go because I don't want to say goodbye. Can't we just say see you soon and then go on as if we are not leaving? I know, I know I am in major denial that this is all happening. The truth is, I am so excited for us to start our lives down there because I know that it is where we are supposed to be but it's just too hard to leave this one behind. Matt's Dad said tonight as we were leaving "well, it's just not a happy time is it." And he was right. It is not a happy time but it is an exciting time as well. Those two emotions don't go well together but they haunt us daily. There are just so many people here that I have become so close with and I hate to leave and know that we won't see them often. Nora has become attached to Vicki, her granny here in Tooele and I know that if we cannot visit often she won't remember who Paul and Vicki are and she already won't remember her Grandma Peggy.

We will just have to show her lots of pictures and talk a ton about them. I am determined however to keep close relationships with everyone important in our lives whether it be through the computer, the phone or the mail. It has all just happened so fast. It will be such an adventure for us and for that I am excited.

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