Today I received 2 baby magazines in the mail...I had signed up for these when I was pregnant the first time and totally forgot about them. The ironic thing is I had just discussed this with someone on my message board. This had happened to her the other day and I didn't even think about it. I had forgotten I had signed up for them. I am passing them on to a friend who is pregnant. It was a surreal moment when I opened the mailbox. I thought perhaps it was my other magazine and I was so excited...and there they were on top of the Ensign. Happy smiling babies and mine are gone. I know mine are happy and smiling however. It was so weird to go from excited to numb in 2 seconds. I thought about saving them until I am pregnant again but I feel like that would jinx it a bit. I recovered by taking a nap with Ivan. When we woke up I decided it was time to bake. Today I tried bagels and although they turned out a little weird looking they are yummy! I will never take another bagel for granted, they are not easy to make. If someone would have told me that at 29 my therapy for losing children would be baking I would have thought they were crazy. I love baking now. I am excited to try new things. It gives me a sense of accomplishment and my kids love to reap the rewards. I swear I am going to gain so much more weight because of all of the baking but at least I'm not crying!