Wednesday, June 10, 2009


Today has been a very emotional day for me. I have had a very hard time with Claire and I am at a complete loss as to what to do. Help is on the way though. I meet with a child psychologist on Monday and hopefully she can help us. So, several people that we know have had babies this week. I am truly so happy for them. I was browsing the baby section at the store today and I couldn't ignore the longing inside. Although I am so happy for them, I too want to have an addition to our family. I have been waiting for my "Infant and Pregnancy Loss" wristband to arrive in the mail. Somehow I think that will make me feel better. Somehow I think it will be something to wear literally on my sleeve to express my grief and my awareness of the children that I have that live in heaven. I am having a hard time because I feel our next child near. I know that it's spirit is with us and that it should join our family soon. I long to feel the kicking from within. I can only pray that the Lord will help us to bring one successfully here.

1 comment:

Lynda said...

I hate to say it but when I read of ANOTHER person having a healthy baby born the green eyed monster comes slithering out of his hole into my eyes. You are much stronger than I. The baby department is a section in the store that I avoid like the plague. I've even resorted as to buying the kids clothes online lately as I CANT bring myself to the clothing department in the stores. They are all too close together. I pray for rainbows for you, for some reason, you are one I wont be jealous of, but rather supportive in your journey. God bless you!!