Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Today has been a very emotional day for me. I have had a very hard time with Claire and I am at a complete loss as to what to do. Help is on the way though. I meet with a child psychologist on Monday and hopefully she can help us. So, several people that we know have had babies this week. I am truly so happy for them. I was browsing the baby section at the store today and I couldn't ignore the longing inside. Although I am so happy for them, I too want to have an addition to our family. I have been waiting for my "Infant and Pregnancy Loss" wristband to arrive in the mail. Somehow I think that will make me feel better. Somehow I think it will be something to wear literally on my sleeve to express my grief and my awareness of the children that I have that live in heaven. I am having a hard time because I feel our next child near. I know that it's spirit is with us and that it should join our family soon. I long to feel the kicking from within. I can only pray that the Lord will help us to bring one successfully here.