Sunday, July 5, 2009
This weekend has been a wild one. We went from the flu to swimming to movie nights to SLEEP. I have had a lot on my mind. I just found out that one of my good friends is about to have a baby and it is the first time I have felt that little jab at my heart. I am completely happy for her but I ache for myself at the same time. Is that selfish? I also read about a woman that had a stillborn baby at 41 weeks. That is so crazy. It seems like I go from being terrified that we won't get pregnant, to terrified that we will and I'll miscarry to terrified that once I get past the "3" month safe zone that something will happen to the baby. I just feel like one big walking time bomb for babies. I feel like shouting "Don't nest in here, you'll be sorry, you're doomed." So that was really morbid but that's what I feel like doing. Just lifting my hands to the sky and shouting it.