Sunday, July 10, 2011
Today is a hard day for me but if possible it has been hard in a good way. I didn't want to go to church today. It had nothing to do with church itself, I just hurt badly today, it is what we at my house call a "bad fibro day." I decided that despite the pain I was feeling I would go. I put the baby down two hours early for her nap, ensuring that she would be cooperative at church right? WRONG! From the time that sacrament meeting started to the time it ended I literally wrestled with her. We were up and down and in and out of that chapel which is not easy for any mother, let alone one with fibromyalgia. Needless to say after that meeting we came home so that she could take another nap. It was so nice to take the sacrament today. I have missed it for several weeks because I have been home with a napping baby and I must say I needed it. I will fill you in on a little secret. Lately I have been angry with my Heavenly Father. I know it makes no sense but I have been. I have just been angry in general but I am hoping all of that will change and I am hoping those closest to me can be patient as I work my way back into a healthy relationship with God. I tried to make this time at home today (not being in church) productive by reading through the lesson for today and reading my scriptures. I am so glad I did. It has been too long since I have read my scriptures and there were some specific verses I needed to read. I am thankful for the scriptures and the fact that they made this "doubting Thomas" feel a little better today.