Tonight we are in the Tooele hospital with Matt again. Today he underwent a major hernia repair. There were 4 hernia's in all. They placed an 8x10 piece of mesh inside his abdomen to cover the hernias and clipped into place with 40 clips. They put permanent stitching at the top and bottom of the mesh and the surgeon said these stitches usually hurt really bad ( oh good! ). In recovery they checked his blood sugar and it was at 262. This is really quite high especially because he hadn't eaten anything since the night before. They gave him 5 units of insulin, waited 40 minutes and checked his blood sugar again. It had gone up to 268! Not what we had hoped for. So they gave him 5 more units of insulin. He did well through the afternoon and as long as he didn't move the pain wasn't bad. Tonight things aren't so good. He has refused pain meds since recovery and then he tried to get up to go to the bathroom. Oh my goodness, the pain took his breath away. I looked into his face and said "just cry Matt" but he just shook his head. I wanted to cry for him. We got him to the bathroom and amidst all of this he looked at me and smiled and said "I love you, you're beautiful." what an incredible man I have in my life. The nurse came in a few minutes ago and checked his sugar and he was at 358! She jogged out to get some insulin, in fact he got a double dose. Tomorrow morning at 6am they are going to do a blood test that picks up one of the indicators for diabetes. If it comes back positive they will do some further testing and then set us up to take care of it. I have a feeling we will be here for a few days. I'm torn because my children are so sad that I am here with him but I can't leave. If he has to go through this we are doing it together. He is sleeping now and I should be. The kids came to visit this evening and after they left I cried. I just couldn't hold it together anymore. It seems as though nothing is routine for him anymore and I'm just not as strong as I should be, I have to just cry it out. I wish I could take this from him. I wish a million times over that his pain was mine. I am so grateful to my friend Mandy who is more of a sister than a friend. She was here all day for support and helped me get the kids down to see their dad. She was incredible. Tonight we are scared but we also are blessed. If he had not come in for this surgery and his sugar's were this high or higher he could have been in real trouble. I am thankful we are here. Looking back it seems like a mess because every procedure has uncovered a new problem but tonight that seems like such a blessing. What would we have done if he hadn't had that motorcycle accident in Arizona? We wouldn't have known there was a problem until his memory was gone and we would have lost so much time with him. If he hadn't come in for his gallbladder surgery they wouldn't have found the liver disease until it was much worse, again it gave us more time with him. If he hadn't come in for this surgery, again real trouble and we could have lost him. Tonight we are tired, scared, hurting and sad but you know what? Tonight we are blessed.