Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Soon Enough You Will Believe It

This last week has been full of ups and downs and today I was just plain exhausted. After the kids left for school I took Naomi and headed out for an appointment with a pain specialist. I was diagnosed 5 years ago with fibromyalgia by two different doctors in two different states and I have been trying everything my insurance will pay for to get some relief. When I went to the clinic today the doctor said that before he confirmed the diagnosis for a third time he wants to have an MRI and x-rays done. He is increasing several of my medications so hopefully in a couple of weeks we'll have some answers and a plan. Naomi was as patient as she could be but seeing as the doctor was an hour and a half behind, she was sort of a nightmare when he came in. After the doctor we came home and spent the afternoon relaxing. It was fun to see the kids run and play outside from the comfort of my napping spot on the futon. Bruiser was outside playing as well and somehow he ripped open the wounds on his leg. He's in a E-Collar or as we call it a "cone of shame." He is scheduled for surgery on the 23rd of this month. We are so grateful to the people who have made that possible. I am anxious for things to slow down and for more fun time with the kids. For tonight I am ready for some rest!
Oh and for those who are interested, I shaved my head agin and I love it! I am not sure if I will ever go back to long hair! I know that a lot of people think I am nuts and don't quite understand why a girl would want a shaved head. Well, here's my answer...why not!? It looks awesome, and I love it! I have always wanted to shave my head but I was too afraid of what people would think. When Matt had the stroke some of my worst fears came true so now it seems so silly to be afraid of the little things. Through my grief over the whole situation I have come to know myself so much better and I like me. I am learning that I am tough enough. I tell myself to "always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." (A.A. Milne)
So do me a favor, don't wait for something so traumatic to find this out. Believe that you are strong and soon enough you will no longer simply believe it, you will know it.

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