Tuesday, January 11, 2011

I Haven't Lost My Mind...Yet

What can I say that hasn't been said before...today was a hard day but that is okay. On a scale from 0-10 it was a 4 and that is better than my usual 0-2.
I have found that facing the morning is nearly impossible. If I am awake when Matt is getting ready to leave I am overcome with anxiety. It is not uncommon for me to try to bribe him to stay home. The only reason that I can find for this anxiety is my constant state of exhaustion. Matt goes to have labs and an x-Ray of his spine done tomorrow. I pray that they can find a reason for the numbness and pain in his arms and also a reason for his constant swelling.
We have good news however! We have found a one story house in our neighborhood and ward that we are going to put a deposit on this week. This gives me great peace of mind. I am so excited to be staying in the same ward. I just don't have it in me to start over somewhere else unless that somewhere is back in Utah. As much as I would love to move home, I am at home here as well. Things are changing so rapidly in our family that sometimes it is hard to seperate the good from the bad but we are seeing blessings through our trials. The most amazing part about all of this is that although I am constantly in meltdown mode, I haven't lost my mind...yet.

No comments: