Sunday, January 9, 2011

So Much Happening

It has been quite a week here at the Garff house. Matt had another doctor's appointment and although there were no answers, there was progress. The doctor ordered a vast array of tests and an x-ray of Matt's spine. He had gained another 14pounds of water which is discouraging but the doctor seemed to be right on top of it. He perscribed more diuretics which seem to be helping a little more than the last batch. The doctor is trying to keep Matt out of the hospital and so he has said that Matt has to be in bed lying flat by 8pm everynight so that his diuretics can have the optimum effect. Apparently your kidneys have their best circulation when you are lying down. So this means that Matt get's home from work at 7pm, eats dinner and is off to bed at 8pm. This also means that evenings just got a whole lot harder for me. It has been good though because it forces me to call it a night a little earlier than I have been. We were able to go to church again this week. It has been 2 weeks in a row now, that has to be some kind of new record for us since the surgeries! We make it through sacrament meeting, I get the kids off to classes and then Matt and I can be found on the couch in one of the foyers. Neither Matt or I can sit for too long on the hard metal chairs. By the end of sacrament meeting Matt is spent. He sleeps the rest of the block on the couch and I refuse to leave him there alone. I figure we are where the Lord wants us to be and even though we cannot be in class, we are doing our best and so hopefully that counts. It's a good effort at justification if anything! Ivan started Flag Football this weekend and it was so good to have Matt there to watch. He gave Ivan little pep talks from time to time, it was priceless. I am so glad that we have these moments and they mean even more to us now than they ever would have. Claire had a meeting tonight called "8 Is Great" at our church. She will be turning 8 in 2011 which means that if she wants to she will be baptized a member of the LDS church. She is so excited! I couldn't believe that we were sitting in that meeting with her. Is it really possible that she will be 8 this year??? It was neat to see her so excited about it. I was having mixed feelings about it. I was so happy to see her excitement but I couldn't help but wonder if Matt would be well enough to baptize her or if it would be Grandpa instead. Thoughts like that sneak up on me and are most unwelcome but I am glad that the Lord is giving me the time I need to be able to think about those things and prepare for what might happen. We looked through a house this weekend that we may or may not rent. I have had a feeling of urgency regarding finding a new house and I am having a hard time deciding if it is just my anxiety or a prompting. This week I would like to go to the temple to seek further guidance. I would like to put a deposit down on the house if we are going to stay here but I want to make sure it is the right decision. It was so nice to imagine ourselves in a house where the laundry room is next to the bedrooms and there are no stairs to be conquered by my tired body or Matt's sick one. I hope it works out. I just feel all mixed up inside and I just wish that I could sort through all of this. We are together though and that is all that matters.

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