Here We Are!

Well, we are finally here and semi-settled in Arizona. It took us more time than we thought to arrive. We left on Friday but we got a very late start and so we slept in a motel that night and finished the drive on Saturday. I don't think I have ever been so glad to be somewhere! The kids did awesome. They were such troopers in the car. The dogs were a pain in the butt however. Our room that Hanjin so graciously is paying for is literally about 10 square feet and so we are packed in. It will be amazing if we make it through this without killing each other. I swear if it snowed here we would have a "shining" situation on our hands. (ha ha)



No seriously, we had a great trip down and now that we are here, things have just worked out wonderfully. Our house officially went under contract yesterday and as of the 15th of October it will be closed. This means that we can most likely be in a house by the end of the month, especially because we have one picked out. I have been able to stay in close contact with a lot of you and it means so much to me. It makes all the difference in the world when you are in a new place to have your best friends calling to check on you. Despite the rocky send off that we had, we are happy here and I think we are really going to enjoy it. As I was driving down, it had gotten dark and the kids were asleep. I was listening to my music and this song came on that just summed up everything for me. So this one is for all of the best friends that I leave behind for a while and Lord knows we will be friends forever.

"Send Me A Song"
(Celtic Woman)

Take the wave now and know that you're free,
Turn your back on the land face the sea,
Face the wind now so wild and so strong,
When you think of me,
Wave to me and send me a song.

Don't look back when you reach the new shore,
Don't forget what you're leaving me for,
Don't forget when you're missing me so,
Love must never hold,
Never hold tight but let go.

Oh the nights will be long,
When I'm not in your arms,
But I'll be in your song, That you sing to me, across the sea.
Somehow, someday, you will be far away,
So far from me and maybe one day,
I will follow you,
And all you do,
'Til then, send me a song.

When the sun sets the water on fire,
When the wind swells the sails of your hire,
Let the call of the bird on the wind,
Calm your sadness and loneliness,
And then start to sing to me,
I will sing to you,
If you promise to send me a song.

I walk by the shore and I hear,
Hear your song come so faint,
And so clear,
And I catch it, a breath on the wind,
And I smile and I sing you a song,
I will send you a song...
I will sing you a song,
I will sing to you...
If you promise to send me a song.

Last Sunday

Today was our last Sunday in our ward and I can honestly say I am so sad to leave. As I looked around me in Sacrament meeting, I saw all of the people that we have considered family for the last year and a half. As my little nursery kids came in I knew it would be the last time that I saw them and it broke my heart. Needless to say I was teary eyed all through church. We also went to say goodbye to one of our best-friends Michelle and that about killed me. Michelle was my first neighbor and one of my first friends here in Tooele. She will never know how much she has done for me and how much my children, husband and I love her. It was a sad day but we survived it.

Scared...

Well, we are only 5 days away from moving and our house is not sold or even under contract. We are scared. We have people watching the house and taking care of the yard but we are scared none-the-less. I decided that the kids and I would leave with Matt after talking with the realtor. She said that the house would probably show better empty and that she was worried about me because of the never ending battle that Ivan and I have over not destroying this house. She keeps telling us not to worry and that the house will sell but it is nearly impossible not to worry. We are excited about the other end of all of this. We are excited about finally getting to AZ where we feel we are supposed to be but it's so hard to leave with loose ends. If anyone is looking for a new home, please tell them about ours. We need all the help we can get at this point. We have a very beautiful home that is great for a growing family, we just need to find that family.

What to Say About Today...

Today was a very busy day and for that I am thankful. We were up early to get Claire ready for preschool. She is absolutely loving school this year and she is doing so well in her second year of preschool. Last year we had to take her out half way through the year. I am grateful for that though because it was a bit of a trial run and now she is doing awesome! While she was at school I worked in the yard to make sure it looked as good as possible. We are now in a price market where there is tons of competition. It is not looking good for us and so our house has to stand out. After picking Claire up I went to the doctor for one last time before going to Arizona and then spent the rest of the day in court with a good friend. I am testifying on his behalf in a custody case and he had a small victory today. It was so nice to focus on someone other than us for a little while. I am really starting to get scared about not selling this house. I think we may have to come down in price again. Daily I plead with the Lord that someone will come through who will see the happiness that has filled these walls for the last 3 years and want to make it their own. I am not sure how much longer we can stay sane.

Not Ready To Say Goodbye

It's so funny how you just can't wait to get out of a place and then when it comes right down to it, it is hard as h****. Tonight we had a Barbecue for Matt and his brothers and a few friends so that they could say their goodbyes. Matt has always been very close to his brothers.





It was so hard on me to be there. In all honesty I didn't want to go because I don't want to say goodbye. Can't we just say see you soon and then go on as if we are not leaving? I know, I know I am in major denial that this is all happening. The truth is, I am so excited for us to start our lives down there because I know that it is where we are supposed to be but it's just too hard to leave this one behind. Matt's Dad said tonight as we were leaving "well, it's just not a happy time is it." And he was right. It is not a happy time but it is an exciting time as well. Those two emotions don't go well together but they haunt us daily. There are just so many people here that I have become so close with and I hate to leave and know that we won't see them often. Nora has become attached to Vicki, her granny here in Tooele and I know that if we cannot visit often she won't remember who Paul and Vicki are and she already won't remember her Grandma Peggy.




We will just have to show her lots of pictures and talk a ton about them. I am determined however to keep close relationships with everyone important in our lives whether it be through the computer, the phone or the mail. It has all just happened so fast. It will be such an adventure for us and for that I am excited.

Top Three

So we had a few people go through the house on Saturday. I had shampooed the carpets and Matt had scrubbed the bathroom, the house looked immaculate. It paid off because we are in the top three of one of the couples that came through. We should know by Monday or Tuesday whether they want to come back through or whether they want to make an offer. So everyone cross your fingers!

Struggling

This week has been so hard for our little family despite the renewal of hope that we experienced over the weekend. Yesterday we lowered the price of our home again in hopes that we can get it under contract before the end of the next two weeks. If this happens then we can all go down to AZ together. The children are having a very hard time, especially Ivan. He is acting out in so many ways and I just don't know how to make things better for him. It is so hard to clean this house daily because I clean it not once, not twice but at least three times before the end of the day. I do this in order to keep it under control on the off chance that the realtor will call and say that someone wants to go through. I told myself that I was not going to do this and that I was only going to worry about it when I actually got the call but all too often people have wanted to go through last minute. I did get a call today though saying that someone, a realtor in fact, wants to go through tomorrow from 9am-10am. Instead of being very happy about this, I am a nervous wreck. I want everything to look perfect but there is just no way when you have 4 small children in the house all day. I spent the entire evening cleaning up the house and folding 5 loads of laundry to make sure that it looks the best that it can. The hardest part is that Ivan will get up at 5 am tomorrow and undo half of what I did tonight. So I have set my alarm to try to get up at the same time he does in order to play damage control. Our realtor here has been such a blessing to us. She takes care of us in so many ways. She brought by new fliers tonight and they are all in color. She also brought us an in house display of the listing complete with her card and it looks very nice. Her awesome husband who has been helping out a lot as well gave me encouraging words when they came, saying that we were going to get tons of activity this next week. There are several houses that are basically the same floor plan as ours that came on the market this week and we priced ourselves $100 cheaper than those. You would be surprised how much $100 makes in realty. It's not the actual price, it's just the way it looks on paper. Apparently it's a psychological thing. I am praying literally all day that things will be okay which in all actuality I know they will but it's still so scary. Whether Matt and I go together or weeks apart, I have people here that will help me and friends and family that I absolutely love close by. The kids and I will be taken care of. It did not calm my fears any when I went to my friends house tonight who is leaving a month earlier than we are and the moving company that is moving both our families was there. It was all very unorganized and they even tried to tell her that some of their stuff had to stay because it would not fit in the truck. I was so proud of her when she told them "tough" and that it all had to go. I just don't want to have to be dealing with all of that with my husband gone, especially because these movers did not speak English but Spanish ( I think ) and my husband is the one who is fluent in Spanish, not me. From what my friend told me it would be best if we had everything possible packed up before they came so that it would all be accounted for. Especially our dishes because they came without any bubble wrap, merely boxes and tape. Well, that is something I can do for myself. It is all so overwhelming but I just feel like if we can get down there as a family things will be okay. I am even looking forward to being in a hotel for a month because it will be a long-term hotel stay at a residence type inn. I just feel like that will give the kids and I some down time where we can spend our afternoons at the pool and just unwind. I would like to get Claire into a preschool in AZ as soon as possible but if I have to home school her for a while until we know exactly where we are going, I will just make sure that I am prepared for that. I know that the Lord is taking care of us because we have seen some real miracles in all of this. It is just hard to be going through it. One of the hardest things for me is knowing that if we all go down this month, the kids and I will not be able to say goodbye to my parents in person. They are at their cabin in Idaho and won't be home until the second week in October. That hurts because my kids are so close to my parents and Claire has already expressed concern about not seeing Grandma Jann. I guess I will just have to plan a trip back as soon as there is a break in School. We do have some great friends from across the world that are planning on coming for Christmas in AZ if at all possible. It is amazing the friends that you find in your lives that quickly become your family. I am going to have the hardest time leaving my friends here but I know that we will keep in touch because they have all been there through some of the hardest times in my life. I imagine the next few weeks will be full of a lot of tears.

This is the last family picture that was taken of us at Ivan's birthday party. It may be the last picture of us all together before we get to the new home. We will try to get another one in front of this home that has been the place that has brought us so much happiness but if not, at least we will all end up together in the end.